So, month two…

It’s interesting going from a 2,000-calorie diet down to 800 calories per day. I won’t lie, the first couple of weeks were a struggle (but you can read more about the first month on total diet replacement here). 

Now we have reached month two, it’s getting better. I’ve got myself into routine and I don’t have food envy any more… although I can’t deny that the faint whiff of a kebab or pizza when you’re walking sometimes just hits you in the right spot and makes you want to go in for a taste. But then, at the blink of an eye, you’ll remember that you are on a mission. You are doing this for yourself. So you block it out and just walk straight past. You go home and open the fridge. The little devil on your shoulder whispers in your ear “maybe a little bite won’t hurt”—but instead you turn to the other side, listen to the angel, and make yourself a shake. 

I can honestly say that I have been no saint. Yes, I have broken and had the odd biscuit here or there (I’m only human). When I’ve been out and forgotten or have had no way of preparing my meals, I’ve bought a sandwich—but I was careful to read the calorie content and balance it out throughout the day, doing my best to stick to 800 calories in the day. 

You see, the daily exercises have got me thinking. It’s not about what I eat, it’s more about my thinking around how I eat. In the past, I would have shamed myself for eating that kebab, would have become depressed because of it, and ultimately continued down this negative spiral, eating more and more as I went. 

Now, I’m allowing myself to think “yes, I can have it”...  but not all the time. I’m starting to see how what I put in my body can bring about a positive relationship between my physical and mental wellbeing (I only wish I could do the same with smoking). 

By the end of this, I want to be able to tell the difference between eating because I’m bored or eating because it’s needed. I want to be able to look after the holy trinity; the mind, body & soul (oh, and look good in those jeans I used to fit into, you know the ones that make your bum look good). 

One of the positive things about doing this is the community I have joined. The WhatsApp group chat is an awesome resource when I’m feeling a bit down. I know that someone is always there to chat to or vice versa. I’m a bit of a loner in this world and don’t trust many people, including family. So I’m using this time and the exercises in this programme to help not only with my relationship with food, but also with others as I involve them in my journey.  

P.S. I've just had my HbA1c read and it's dropped by 14mmol. More to come!

I’m gonna end it here by congratulating all my fellow cohorts. Whether we are in the same group or not, for those sticking with it you deserve a pat on the back, but because of social distancing you will have to do it yourself. Stay safe amid these treacherous times. Keep on doing the great job we have done. 

Lastly, thank you to the Habitual team for guiding us in this. I’m sure I can say on behalf of all of us: THANK YOU.

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